If Pokemon and Twilight Combined
by azugirl888
Summary: When May moves to Sporks she meets Ash Ketchum. The biggest glitter freak in all of Sporks. What more will happen in the town called Sporks?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Welcome to Sporks!

When May hopped out of her father's car, she was disappointed to find it hot and dry outside. At her old home in Forks, it rained a lot and she had been used to it. Here in Sporks, it was H-O-T!

_At least there aren't any people who are obsessed with wearing glitter, but are afraid to go outside. And are enemies with the local dogs. _She thought trying to give herself a good reason for staying.

"How ya doin' April?" her father, Marley, asked. May sighed angrily. "My name isn't April!" Marley looked confused. "Okay than…..June? Or is it March? How 'bout July?" May snapped.

"MY NAME IS FRICKIN' MAY!" she stepped forward to kick him in _that _place.

But unfortunately, Marley forgot to clean the yard, and May slipped on a banana peel that just happened to be there. "AW, FU…FU…FUDGECICLES!" she yelped.

Marley helped May up and led her into his small, empty, hollow, bare, lonely, [any other word you can think of to describe a lonely old man's home], house. "OMG!" May yelled sarcastically. "I love it!" Marley smiled. "Really?"

"No." Marley's smile disappeared. But quickly came back as he thought of something. "I've got a present for ya!" May suddenly became very happy as she thought of the _red, beat up _truck she was going to get. She wanted a truck _just _like Bella Swan's.

Marley led her outside and over to a covered lump. Shaped very much like a car…

"Ta da!" He smiled. May's smiled quickly dissolved as the covers were lifted off. A Yellow Volkswagen sat there. Brand new too.

"WHAT THE HELL, DAD!" she screamed. "DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AROUND DRIVING IN THAT BRAND NEW CAR WITH PEOPLE PUNCHING PEOPLE SAYING, _YELLOW ONE, _AND THAN GETTING INTO CAR ACCIDENTS AND CAUSE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST ACCIDENT…EVER!" May's face was fire-truck red. Or as she said, fire-*uck red.

Marley pouted. "I didn't really think of that." May shook her head. "You didn't know. Sorry." There was silence. And then there was Marley. "On other terms, you'll be going to Sporks High! You'll start tomorrow."

"At least there aren't any glitter freaks here. I might actually like living in Sporks."

"Uh…actually…February, Sporks has had a problem with glitter. It's a fad. See?" Marley showed May his glitter tattoo that read, 'I Heart Sparkles.'

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" May through her hands up and dropped to the ground.

"At least this isn't_ Twilight." _

"Um…January…."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Goin' to School

May walked into Sporks High feeling like an outsider. Was she the only one not wearing glitter? She thought she left that with Edward and the Cullens. And what made it worse, was that the sun was out.

Literally, her eyes burned just when looking at them through squinted eyes, and she crashed into a variety of stuff. Maybe she should've stayed in Forks, where people thought that people who glittered were beautiful. But why move to Alaska when most of the time up there, the sun is shining? Uh, a DUH!

May sat down at a random desk in my first classroom. And literally, it was random. When had this desk come in? She shrugged to herself and took out her notebook.

"Hello class," Mr. Baker chimed happily. May raised her hand. Mr. Baker looked at her through squinted eyes. "Yes, November?" May rolled her eyes. "Do you teach science?" Mr. Baker sighed angrily. "Yes, January. I do."

"I thought you taught cooking." May had thought that, because of his name. I mean, Mr. Baker? Does he know the Muffin Man. She had seen him on Mulberry Lane a couple of times.

"_Anyway, _It's time to learn. Now class, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop?"

The class mumbled to themselves and wore confused faces. May smirked at all of them. An easy question.

"3 licks," she responded quickly. Hadn't anyone ever seen the commercial?

_Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie center of a Tootsie Pop?_

_Let's find out. A 1, a 2, a 3! CRUNCH!_

Mr. Baker did a smacked his hands on his forehead and took out some aspirin and drunk some water with it.

After school, May walked slowly to her Yellow Volkswagen. Already that day there had been 5 accidents. She sighed.

And that's when it happened.

A boy, Brock, was blindly driving his car when he saw May. "I'm backing up," he bellowed out to her. "I'm backing up." But May just stood there light a deer in a headlight. Frozen with fear.

"I'm backing up. I'm backing up. I'm backing up. I'M FRICKIN' BACKING UP! JUST MOVE YOU **#%!" May continued to stand there.

Brock backed up and hit May, causing her to fly into a nearby tree and collapse onto the ground. Brock drove away and sprayed rocks and debris all over May.

The boy named Ash Ketchum walked by and noticed May sitting on the ground. "R U OK?" May hated when people talked like that.

"Why didn't you save me? I thought you were a vampire who was going to fall in love with me and cause me to choose between Drew, a neighborhood dog, or you and would marry me and have a baby with me," May said taking a long breath afterward. She was very disappointed with him. He was her guardian angel, you know. See the wings?

Ash scrunched his nose. "What?" And walked away leaving May crying.

She sniffed. "Can someone move these onions away from me?" A random student moved the bowl of onions away and threw them into the garbage.

"Hi. I'm Dawn," a girl extended her hand out to May for a shake. May looked at it with disgust. "Did you wash your hands?" Dawn looked down. "Well…"

"EEEEEW!"

"I'm sorry March. Don't be mad. I've got some Purell. See?" She held the tiny bottle of hand sanitizer out to March, I mean, May.

May reluctantly shook her hand, but quickly rubbed her hands with some Purell. "You should meet my other friend , too." Dawn said leading May to the "Nerd Table". How uncool.

A girl with red hair dressed in some ridiculous overalls looked over and frowned at May.

"What's her problem," May meant to whisper, but instead yelled.

Dawn shrugged. "Jealous?" The red-head picked up a paint brush, dipped it in red paint and walked over to May.

"Ooh, is she going to paint my face? Suddenly, I love this school!" Dawn gave May a strange look.

"Hello, September. I'm Misty." The red-head named Misty didn't say anything else, but started to paint May's face. When she was done, a bright red target remained.

Misty took a seat back at the table, picked up some food and threw it in May's direction.

"Target practice? Well she's not very good." The food sailed past her head and onto the floor. Misty picked up more food and threw it.

This time it hit May. May was pleased. She never had a food fight at her old school. Only boring lunches where people actually ate the food instead of throwing it.

"FOODFIGHT!" Brock yelled! Chaos broke out and the whole lunch room was covered in food.

May sat on the edge of her bed reading "Twilight" for the tenth time. "Is it that good?" Marley asked popping his head through her door.

May sighed. "Everything in here is true. I videotaped it. Plus, I wrote the book."

Marley gave her a quizzical look. "Than why does it say, 'By: Stephanie Meyer' and not 'By: October'?"

"Meh. Stephanie Meyer's just a cover name."

Marley shrugged and turned her lights off on her.

"Good night, August."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Ash Ketchum is a WHAT!

May waited for her computer to load so she could search up Ash Ketchum on Facebook. They could become friends and everything. May watched excitedly as the page was almost done loading, but then the screen went green and in blue words, the words "EPIC FAIL" scrolled across the top.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed throwing her hands up into the air. Why did everything she do have to be an epic fail?

* * *

_Flashbacks_

_May tried to get toothpaste out of the tube. Marley popped his head through the door just as a bunch of toothpaste squirted out. "EPIC FAIL, Wednesday!"_

_She tried running to school after her car broke down in the middle of the road. "BARK BARK," Drew barked. _

_May wasn't even doing anything when the teacher said, "EPIC FAIL, FRIDAY!" _

_End of Flashbacks_

* * *

Wait…since when did they start calling her days of the weeks? She sighed. If only life were simpler.

She jumped out of her chair and onto her trampoline. She threw her computer out the window and sighed. She took out her phone and took out a pair of glasses to help her read.

'Ash Ketchum' is what she put into the Google search bar and watched the results come up.

_Pokemon, Shipping Wars, New Season, blah, blah, blah! _Nothing pointed her out to the results she was looking for. So she decided to guess what he was.

He wears a lot of glitter.

He's beautiful.

He's useful in some ways.

His voice is high pitched….

OMG!

May had to tell him. She knew who he secretly was. And what he secretly was.

* * *

The next day, May stalked Ash the whole day long, until it came time to go home. Ash quickly turned around and smacked her in the face.

"Sorry. That's a habit for me. I always seem to know when someone is stalking me." May rubbed her face. "Yeah…." They were silent for a couple seconds, which turned to minutes, which turned to hours, which turned to days, and weeks and months, until finally in December when the snow covered the ground, May spoke up.

"I know who you are and what you are!"

Ash looked terrified and his eyes opened to the size of dinner plates. He tensed up for a second, before whispering. "What?"

May looked around waiting for the whole school to hear who Ash was and what he was.

"JUSTIN BIEBER!" Crickets chirped in the background before someone stepped on them. Ash shook his head.

"What! I'm not that girl!" May looked down confused. After all her calculations. She was wrong.

"I'm a Vampire. You know, the ones that sparkle and have weird hairstyles and star in their own books and movies?" May didn't know what he was talking about.

"Twilight? New Moon? Eclipse? Breaking Dawn?" she questioned herself as she looked through her astronomy book. "What are those?"

"Will you pay attention?" Ash murmured. May looked up from her book. "Oh. Sorry Justin Bieber. I know that's just you in disguise. Don't worry. Everyone is safe her at Sporks High."

Ash face palmed and walked away. May drove home that night smiling to herself over her greatest accomplishment. She listened to "Baby" afterwards. "Man. He does sound like a girl," she said to herself.

* * *

"Goodnight, Will."

Marley yawned before dragging himself into his room.

"It's MAY!"

Why did he have to start with the helping verbs?


End file.
